Vocabulary lessons from a 21 month old…

Nothing makes my head spin faster than when I first heard cursing fly elegantly from my 21 month old daughter’s sweet, little innocent lips.

“Piss”, I heard her say one morning.  As I gasped and whipped my head in her direction, I said, “What did you say, honey?”  She held up the pants in her hand and said, “Piss”, as though I was an idiot who couldn’t understand her the first time.  Whew!  I began to chuckle.

Over the next couple weeks, she had us in absolute hysterics as her foul vocabulary broadened.  Here are a few of the words I’ve learned from my daughter.

My Sweet Little Girl...

Piss – An article of clothing worn from the waist to the ankles (i.e. a pair of piss) OR A rotund, pink farm animal with a short curly tail (i.e. The three little piss)

No Shit! – Any of a number of fluids applied to the skin to replenish moisture (i.e. We’ve just had a bath.  Now it’s time to put your no-shit on.)

Fuck – A fluffy, feathered yellow bird with an orange bill that likes to swim in ponds (i.e. The ugly fuckling).
Note:  To my delight, she has mastered “Duck”, helping to keep my blood pressure from spiking in public places.

Vulva – My daughter’s name.  The rest of us call her Ava.

Ta-Ta’s – The proper name of many males throughout history, and also a relatively well known train (i.e. Hi Ta-Tas!)

She makes us proud!  And, after sharing this little bit about her development, I need to run out and open a new account to help pay for her therapist.


5 responses to “Vocabulary lessons from a 21 month old…

  1. These are so funny! Thanks for the laugh!

  2. LOL I almost choked on my coffee laughing at this post!

  3. This post had me pissing in my pants… or would that be pissing in my piss? Anyway… best of luck with her!

  4. Too funny! Thank goodness she is just learning new words and she isn’t using the real ones. I hear the actual cuss words at the crisis nursery all the time. You always, always hope you misheard them, but that usually isn’t the case.

  5. This is HIGHlarious! I am glad to have met your twins in this post — no doubt they provide you with hours of entertainment — I’ll keep checking back in. 🙂

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