Nothing makes my head spin faster than when I first heard cursing fly elegantly from my 21 month old daughter’s sweet, little innocent lips.
“Piss”, I heard her say one morning. As I gasped and whipped my head in her direction, I said, “What did you say, honey?” She held up the pants in her hand and said, “Piss”, as though I was an idiot who couldn’t understand her the first time. Whew! I began to chuckle.
Over the next couple weeks, she had us in absolute hysterics as her foul vocabulary broadened. Here are a few of the words I’ve learned from my daughter.
Piss – An article of clothing worn from the waist to the ankles (i.e. a pair of piss) OR A rotund, pink farm animal with a short curly tail (i.e. The three little piss)
No Shit! – Any of a number of fluids applied to the skin to replenish moisture (i.e. We’ve just had a bath. Now it’s time to put your no-shit on.)
Fuck – A fluffy, feathered yellow bird with an orange bill that likes to swim in ponds (i.e. The ugly fuckling).
Note: To my delight, she has mastered “Duck”, helping to keep my blood pressure from spiking in public places.
Vulva – My daughter’s name. The rest of us call her Ava.
Ta-Ta’s – The proper name of many males throughout history, and also a relatively well known train (i.e. Hi Ta-Tas!)
She makes us proud! And, after sharing this little bit about her development, I need to run out and open a new account to help pay for her therapist.