Nothing makes my head spin faster than when I first heard cursing fly elegantly from my 21 month old daughter’s sweet, little innocent lips.
“Piss”, I heard her say one morning. As I gasped and whipped my head in her direction, I said, “What did you say, honey?” She held up the pants in her hand and said, “Piss”, as though I was an idiot who couldn’t understand her the first time. Whew! I began to chuckle.
Over the next couple weeks, she had us in absolute hysterics as her foul vocabulary broadened. Here are a few of the words I’ve learned from my daughter.
Piss - An article of clothing worn from the waist to the ankles (i.e. a pair of piss) OR A rotund, pink farm animal with a short curly tail (i.e. The three little piss)
No Shit! - Any of a number of fluids applied to the skin to replenish moisture (i.e. We’ve just had a bath. Now it’s time to put your no-shit on.)
Fuck - A fluffy, feathered yellow bird with an orange bill that likes to swim in ponds (i.e. The ugly fuckling).
Note: To my delight, she has mastered “Duck”, helping to keep my blood pressure from spiking in public places.
Vulva - My daughter’s name. The rest of us call her Ava.
Ta-Ta’s – The proper name of many males throughout history, and also a relatively well known train (i.e. Hi Ta-Tas!)
She makes us proud! And, after sharing this little bit about her development, I need to run out and open a new account to help pay for her therapist.
5 responses so far ↓
goodbadandugly2 // November 13, 2008 at 3:50 PM |
These are so funny! Thanks for the laugh!
Ladd // November 14, 2008 at 10:57 AM |
LOL I almost choked on my coffee laughing at this post!
Paul // December 17, 2008 at 4:05 PM |
This post had me pissing in my pants… or would that be pissing in my piss? Anyway… best of luck with her!
Nichole // January 20, 2009 at 7:24 PM |
Too funny! Thank goodness she is just learning new words and she isn’t using the real ones. I hear the actual cuss words at the crisis nursery all the time. You always, always hope you misheard them, but that usually isn’t the case.
pictureportland // February 11, 2009 at 9:54 PM |
This is HIGHlarious! I am glad to have met your twins in this post — no doubt they provide you with hours of entertainment — I’ll keep checking back in.